birthday reflection

Self portrait, collage, ink

Another year older. AARP birthday greetings mix in with other cards from family and friends. Thanks. I know. I am older.

But, I am not upset by getting older. No, in fact I am stunned by how much more beautiful life gets as I age. Probably, because my father passed away last year, I have a different sense of how fragile and short life is. Plus, I get to spend time with my three grandsons (5, 3, and 3) and I am invigorated by how exciting and mysterious and joyous life is.

A little sorrow with the sweet. That is life.

Middle age, and with that some understanding. There are no second times around, so I must make the very most of every day I am alive.

Happy birthday to me!



Happy Birthday a capella fun. Enjoy.

First Friday, October

"It's All about Me ... It's All About We!"
First Friday
October 4, 2013

In Bocca al Lupo Fine Art
2025 SE Jefferson Street
Milwaukie, OR

Hope to see you there!

express yourself

Express Yourself, 17 x 14, watercolor and ink on paper

Matisse. Picasso. German Expressionism. Emil Nolde. Frankenthaler.

Read. Study. Look. 

Paint. 

You never know what will happen when you open yourself to the traditions that came before you. 

The art of an artist must be his own art. It is... always a continuous chain of little inventions, little technical discoveries of one's own, in one's relation to the tool, the material and the colors.

Water Worry

I think about water a lot. I love to watch it move and flow. It is always determined to discover the lowest spots and to pool there. Maybe water is on my mind a lot because I nearly lost my life after falling into the 52 degree water of Puget Sound.

I may look okay, but somehow I always have a niggling worry about water.

Landscape of Life

Landscape of Life
18 x 24
Pastel on Wallis Museum

Maybe

Maybe it's the dark days. Maybe it's the rain. Maybe it's the thought of getting older and feeling myself creaking as I do my best to flex with the changes. I'm not sure exactly what drove me to turn a landscape into a face. My face. My little girl face. But, I've started.

Maybe it's because behind every face, every face lined with age, is a landscape of life. And a child, still inside, wondering who is that woman looking back at her in the mirror.

Sketches

self-portrait -- when it's raining and windy and I have to jump off the boat to tie it to the dock

the black flies that decorate this page were a plague on our sunny day

My sketchbook is filled with words and more than 100 illustrations and still isn't complete. More to come!

Not pretty

Thinking of Dad
11 x 14, Bristol

Self Portrait

10 x 12

My life caught me unawares earlier this year when I accidentally fell in the cold water of Puget Sound. It is easy to pretend to be unchanged by the event, especially since it happened five months ago. Easy to smile and nod and laugh, to tell the story of my many minutes in the cold water. To act as if it is barely a blip on the screen of my life.

Some days, that is true. It is but one incident in a life filled with incidents.

But other days it feels important. Today was a day like that.

Without trying to suppress it or reframe it or ignore it, today I honestly responded to my feelings with my painting. I won't begin to try to figure out what that means, but I will just rest with it.

My thoughts flow as the melody of this tune. Melancholy and sweet. Hopeful and quiet. It is a good day.

Self Portrait

Self Portrait

18 X 12, pastel

Many artists paint self portraits. Art schools require them. Models are expensive and self portraits are economic. Self portraits allow the artist a chance to express something about themselves.

At the Legion of Honor Museum in San Francisco, I saw a self portrait of Rembrandt. He did several self portraits in the course of his lifetime, some of which you can see if you click here.

At the Weinstein Gallery I saw Odd Nerdrum's "Self Portrait in a Tree Trunk". This painting fascinated me and I was moved by its naked truth.

Put these ingredients into my brain and shake. I have been thinking hard about what I might say about myself in a self portrait besides somewhat representing my physical likeness. I intentionally did not paint myself attractive, but plain.

What do you think I am expressing about myself in this self portrait?

Self Portrait Contour Drawing

Contoured Katherine
24 x 18, ink on Stonehenge paper

I'm off to drawing class tonight with Kitty Wallis. This class is a one year commitment and I have missed more than I have attended since it restarted in January. Tonight will be my time to get back into the drawing groove. There is so much to learn!

Today I practiced with a contour self-portrait. Contour drawings appeal to me, probably because of the coloring book look. Or, maybe it because of the simplicity.

Once, at Hipbone Studios, I watched an artist do an elegant contour drawing of the figure model. A single line in ink, done with a graceful sweep of the artist's shoulder and wrist and finally hand. It was magic!

Self Portrait in Watercolor

I didn't expect to feel unsettled by painting self portraits.

Even more than any other painting subject, in painting myself I am forced to determine how much I will reveal about myself. Will I strip down to my least hidden self? And, if I do, will anyone notice or care?

"If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint." Edward Hopper

Self Portrait 3, 18 x 24, watercolor on Arches 140# Rough

Self Portrait

I mentioned the Portrait Project in the previous blog about Kimberly, my portrait partner.

A self portrait is the second part of the Portrait Project. I have done some self portraits in the past, but all of them have failed to do more than capture a likeness. And I want to do more.

Among artists, self portraits have a long tradition. Probably because model fees can add up and an artist needs only a mirror to paint him or herself. You can see many examples of self portraits by clicking here. Or here.

I will do a little more studying and try this again.

One big frustration I have as an artist is that my skills always lag far behind my vision. Maybe one day ...